True, some people are committed and just not tying the knot, but many just haven't found their special someone. So how can you increase your chances of finding a mate? Two dating coaches -- one in Atlanta, the other near San Diego -- spoke about their approach to finding love for their clients. These dating coaches say the biggest obstacle is their clients' own attitudes.
Amanda Lynn - Dating Coach in Atlanta, Georgia (GA)
They bring that low energy, low vibration to that date because they are expecting it to be awful. Learning how to pivot from that mentality is really a tall order for some singles, especially if you have a track record of disappointment," Moore said. I'm a bad dater. That is what the message is. The first step is being aware of it and switching that. Porterfield recommends replacing that inner dialogue with positive self talk. If you tell yourself 'dating is fun.
I can make a new friend,' that's a whole lot different than 'there's nobody out there. All the good people are taken.
Porterfield has her clients write a list of what they want in a mate. In many cases, her clients have several pages of traits, from physical to spiritual to what type of job they have. She has them narrow that list down to their top five characteristics and ultimately to their top three.
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She says it's easier to keep those things top of mind when the list is whittled down. What kind of person do you want? What's important to you? We talk about core values. Porterfield cautions that some clients use their lists to build up walls and prevent intimacy.
She says that's often due to fear from failed relationships and heartbreak. So, she says, clients need to really strip away the layers. Moore says she still sees women who think finding a mate isn't romantic unless it's spontaneous.
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